Birthdays and desperately restraining the inner nerd
Last week my birthday rolled around, which I seemed to repeatedly forget as with reaching the year’s end, everything tends to get so hectic and exhausting, causing your mind to get lost in the bottomless dungeons of packed to-do lists. I worked long hours lately and as the prior „pull yourself through tension“ left, my health hasn’t been the best, so I decided to lowball my actual birthday and throw a party some weekend later. Shortly before midnight I got a wonderful surprise with balloons, decorations, sparkling wine and cake with candles, everything looked so festive in my little couch corner and I felt my heavy thoughts lifted immediatly.
Of course my old friend destroying-every-plan-migraine wouldn’t miss to drop by and give me best wishes the next day, uninvited bitch stayed for several hours, but I refused to let that ruin the great mood, as I was granted a delicious breakfast in bed with all the favorite things I liked (freshly baked waffles with berries and vegan whipcream, seasoned scramble eggs with chives, freshly pressed orange juice, rolls, toppings and even more.) I was so overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness and though I received sweet and thoughtful presents, this feeling of being appreciated and cared about in that way is nothing a material gift could ever replace to me.
Every time I level up a year, I like to reflect on the stats of my current life, for example rechecking what I aspire in it vs. how reality looks like and how my mental and physical wellbeing is doing. I already knew that I wouldn’t be too satisfied with the result, as although I’m constantly working towards my goals and grew a lot as a person over the last year, in order to maintain that path, paid a big price in regards of health, which I should and can not continue. I’m productive but my balance is way off. Exhaustion and self inflicted pressure became my constant companions, next to bad eating habits, lack of sleep and a huge neglect of many of my beloved hobbies, meaning activities I dearly need to find a counterweight against the stress, to relax or express myself.
There were sooo many things piled up for months I would’ve loved to do, but never found the time. I’m a classic sagittarius and when I get the – false and destructive – feeling I don’t „contribute enough“ (a.k.a giving so much for everything and everyone around me until it tears me apart, as it is never enough in my mind) I become my own worst enemy, because I can’t turn that inner drive off and if I ignore it I get sickened. Having a workaholic within is part of me, but that jackass needs to get his crown kicked off from time to time. Long story short, I finally decided to mow my schedule over with Goron strength and redo everything.
I am currently writing the screenplay for my graduation-movie and work in a mediaproduction company on the side, but besides those duties one should find enough time to actually have a life.^^’ I yearn for playing video games again, get involved in my favorite franchises and read more. During the holidays I often pick certain days to binge through the films and series on my list, I also want to plan out new cosplays and photoshootings, make more videos and write more again. I’m still kinda worn out, but I already feel so hyped!
(Disclaimer, the following section will be all over the place because ashjsafiuerheof) Speaking of hyped… LORD it was so hard to contain myself once I put my changes slowly into action, let me tell you! I got bonkers excited over the new Let’s Go Eevee & Let’s Go Pikachu games, they’re a 3D reboot of the Pokémon yellow edition with multiplayer options and Pokémon Go elements, but fate destroyed my dreams as I don’t own a necessary Switch console FUCK. Breath of the Wild baby boi, you just wait for me!
Anyways, their artwork is so cute and there are so many cool features, I wanna try it out as soon as I can! A colleague of mine promised to bring his copy on monday so we can have a look after work, tell me your opinion if you played it already! I’m also hosting a 1-day Lord of the Rings Extended Cut marathon next week, I always fantasize about owning a sindarin elf sword, Círdan of Grey Havens by Atoha to be precise, but that shit doesn’t exist to buy yet and I don’t even have enough money to get the Switch so who am I kidding.
But at least on Blackfriday sales I baught some new cosplay materials and minor camera gear, I’ll keep the costumes secret untill it will be warm enough outside to take photos again in them, but I‘ll say they are Fantasy themed (opposed to mostly doing OCs and Anime characters) and I spent lots of time in planning and creating them with much love for details ♡ I missed doing cosplay a lot and can’t wait to expand into new franchises and genres, weee! Of course spending money on that stuff restricted my fangirl longings in other areas, I dived into the realm of highly desired Zelda models, Shenlong DB statues, cute Eevee caps and Harry Potter jewelry, but managed to pull back before the point of no return.
Luckily I always take great care to only buy what I genuinly feel a connection to, so you’ll find few, but very beautiful trinkets and treasures around my room which are attached to personal stories and dear memories. As a fan of multiple franchises I find many nostalgic, pretty collectables online that may be cool to look at, but it would never cross my mind to actually get them for my home, unless I couldn’t fall asleep at night because I can’t stop thinking about them. Anyways, I’m very happy to work everything out regarding a better work-life balance and focussing more on the things that keep me healthy and motivated without losing my obligations out of sight. I hope you have a cozy, relaxed wintertime so far or at least can finish everything in time before your well deserved holidays begin. Take care!
Title, Nintendo Link by Earl Ware
Birthday couch & Breakfast, Chery
Screenplay Picture & Collectables Picture, Instagram @chery.hime (Chery)
Let’s Go Eevee, Nintendo
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